


Cosmic

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 19:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Tumbrl prompt 'Pls write about Casey chose Evan but everytime she's with him, all she thinks about is Izzie. Also, a jealous Casey would be nice to read. Up to you who she'd be jealous of.. Nate or another girl perhaps? ☺ happy writing! Hihi'





	Cosmic

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any prompts send them to me on tumblr: thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com

Casey was not her mother.

She was not a cheat, and she was not about to break someone’s heart.

She was happy with Evan, Izzie was just a blip, the one that helped Casey realise that, yeah, maybe she wasn’t as straight as she thought.  

But she didn’t have feeling for Izzie, it was just all the excitement of putting her finger on something that had been inside of her all her life.

The choice wasn’t as easy as Casey would have liked, she was so close to picking Izzie, when Evan stopped by with his caring blue eyes and goofy smile and Casey just couldn’t do that to him.

She wasn’t going to be like her mother.

Izzie’s eyes had conveyed both heart break and understanding when Casey told her that she just couldn’t continue whatever this was.

She gave Izzie all the space she needed, telling her that she would still like to be friends, whenever she is ready.

If there was one thing Casey was good at it was pushing away her feelings, so far that sometime even she didn’t know what they were, and just getting on with it.

Except, it just wasn’t that easy this time.

Suddenly Evan was different.

Not him himself but to Casey.

Suddenly his hands were just too big and too rough as they slid up her shirt.

His face was too prickly and his hair just didn’t seem long enough, where before Casey thought it maybe bordered on too long.

Casey would look up at him during sex and where there once was calming blue eyes Casey kept imagine brown eyes.

Brown eyes that, when the sun hit them just right, could leave Casey a little breathless. Brown eyes that had little specks of gold. Brown eyes that she had spent weeks trying to forget.

Evan noticed her acting different but she didn’t push, because of course he didn’t, he probably just thought it was because she and Izzie weren’t talking.

Izzie wasn’t completely ignoring her, she would offer her a small smile if they passed each other in the halls, and she would compliment her on her running after practice but that was it, and it was killed her.

it was a little over three weeks after everything that Izzie sat down beside her at lunch.

Casey lifter her eyes when she felt her sit down beside her, her brows creasing into a frown.

“Warm welcome as always, Newton.” Izzie commented, and Casey felt something in her chest relax, a little smile pulling on her lips as she ducked her head.

“I can’t believe you’re eating that shit pizza.” Casey said.

“It’s not from the school,” Izzie grinned smugly, taking a bite of her pizza.

Casey didn’t ask, she didn’t want to know if it was from Nick, she was just glad Izzie was speaking to her again.

“How’s Sam?”

“Insufferable with all of his constant projects class.” Casey rolled her eyes. “But he’s excited.”

“Is he staying at home?”

“Yeah, he is. Which mom loved.”

“I’ve missed him,” Izzie admitted, and Casey found herself believing her. She and Sam had hit it off, with Sam telling her that she could eventually feed Edison if she could answer all the questions to the quiz he would have for her.

“You can come by tonight if you’d like?” Casey offered.

Izzie opened her mouth to answer, but stopped.

“You don’t have to,” Casey said unsurely.

“No, I want to, I just- I have plans with… someone.”

“Someone,” Casey arched an eyebrow at Izzie. “Nick?”

“God, no.” Izzie scoffed, picking at the pepperoni on her pizza. “Rachel.”

“Oh,” Casey swallowed, nodded her head. “Cool, is she like-“

“Uh,” Izzie hummed. “I dunno, maybe? We’re just hanging out.”

“Oh, cool.” Casey managed to pull a smile on her lips. “Another time, then?”

“For sure, yeah.”

They sat in an awkward silence for the rest of lunch.

It was the end of the day when Casey met Rachel, and she couldn’t ignore that horrible burn of jealous that brewed in her chest at the sight of the pretty brunette leaning against the locker beside Izzie’s.

She was smiling in a blatantly flirtatious manner, looking up at Izzie through her eyelashes, and Izzie looked a little flustered.

Izzie glanced her way, as if sensing her presence, and Casey felt an odd sense of smugness when Izzie’s eyes softened and her smile slackened.

But that smugness quickly morphed into that same guilt that she had had clawing at her chest for the past few months.

Izzie lifted her hand in a unsure greeting, and Casey gave her that little smile, wiggling her fingers at Izzie before heading off toward the entrance.

The guilt that was slowly building in Casey’s chest got to much for her at practice one day.

She was pushing herself, she needed to be _faster_ if they were going to win this year, and she glanced to the sidelines to see Izzie stretching while Evan smiled that big goofy smile, probably telling her how glad she was that she and Casey were friends again.

Seeing them interact, the two people she had been torn between for months, caused something to snap in Casey’s chest, and suddenly everything started to get a little misty, and her lungs tightened.

Her legs gave out, causing her to skid to her knees, tearing the skin there, but she didn’t feel it, all she could focus on was the fact she couldn’t catch her breath, the fact it felt like something was pushing against her chest preventing her lungs from expanding.

She could hear her name being called, but it felt like it was a million miles away, and she could hear Evan asking what the hell he was supposed to do before small, soft hands were cupping her chin, and her head was being lifted.

“Newton,” Izzie’s soft whisper broke through the fog. “Hey. You’re having a panic attack, I need you to listen to me.”

Casey tried to breathe, trying to breathe in quickly but before she could her lungs tensed and stopped her.

“Doing this isn’t helping, Case.” Izzie smoothed her hands over Casey’s cheeks, before resting her forehead against Casey’s. “Copy me, Newton, quick breaths aren’t going to help you here.”

Casey finally opened her eyes, taking in the closeness of Izzie, and, surprisingly, the pressure in her chest loosened slightly.

“Hey,” Izzie breathed, smiling softly at her. “Breathe like me, okay?”

Casey jerked out a nod, mimicking Izzie as she breathed in for seven seconds and out four.

It took a few minutes for Casey’s breathing to calm, if only slightly. “Are you okay?” Izzie whispered lowly enough that only she could hear.

Casey shook her head, her hands shaking as they gripped onto Izzie’s forearms.

“Okay, we can talk about it later, but right now I need you to calm down enough that I can have a look at your knees.”

It took a further two minutes for her to calm down enough to move, allowing Izzie to sit her down, with her legs outstretched.

Izzie didn’t take her eyes off of Casey as she held her hand out toward Evan and wiggled her fingers. Evan didn’t look away from her, either, but he quickly handed over the first aid kit.

Evan looked worried, and completely lost (and maybe something else? Maybe curiosity?).

“It’s because I’m getting closer to your quickest time, isn’t it?” Izzie grinned cheekily, tearing opening an antiseptic wipe and cleaning the scrapes.

Casey laughed breathlessly, nodding her head. “Yeah.”

“Knew it,” Izzie put on that fake bravado, which made Casey smile.

Izzie fixed her up, everything bar kissing the band aid like her dad used to, getting to her feet and offering up her hand to Casey, pulling her to her feet, her hands landing on Casey’s hips when she standing.

“Let’s get you home, eh?” Izzie arched an eyebrow at Casey.

“I can do that,” Evan interjected, wrapping his arm around Casey, and Izzie pulled her hands back like she had been burned, nodding and avoiding both Casey and Evan’s eye.

“Of course,” Izzie hummed, giving Casey a tight smile. “Text me later, yeah?”

Casey nodded, still a little breathless.

—

The final straw for Casey was when she had Izzie name on the tip of her tongue as she climaxed. She didn’t say it, but it was too close, and just too much.

“That was great,” Evan murmured as he settled his head on Casey chest.

Casey didn’t agree or disagree, she just let it happen, let them both ride through the post-orgasm high, because what kind of person would she been she she imploded their lives during that fuzzy high?

They were silent for almost half an hour before Casey spoke up.

“I’m falling in love with someone else.” She admitted, and Evan was quiet for so long Casey though he was actually asleep, until he slowly pushed himself up and frowned down at her.

“What?”

“I love you, Even, I do. But I’m not in love with you.” Casey rushed out.

“And this other person made you realise that?” Evan asked slowly, her soft eyes swimming with hurt and angry, though the angry was held up.

Casey nodded.

“Who is it?”

“Evan,” Casey sighed.

“No, I think I know who it is.” Evan cut her off, swallowing thickly. “I just need to hear you say it.”

Casey licked her lips. “Izzie,”

Evan nodded, like that had been the answer he expected, and began getting up, pulling on his sweat pants.

“Evan,”

“I need time, Casey.” Evan didn’t even look at her as he pulled on his shirt and headed for the door.

“Evan, please.” The break in Casey’s voice caused Evan to stop in his tracks. “I’m sorry.”

Evan shook his head. “This isn’t your fault, Casey. And this isn’t a goodbye, I just need a little time.” Evan assured, and Casey wanted to tell him to stop being so nice, to scream and yell or something. Evan turned, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. “Call Izzie.”

Casey sat on the bad long after Evan had left, not really sure what to do with herself, she felt like she should cry, and she did, but, honestly, she felt a little relieved.

It took her a little over an hour to text Izzie.

**Newton [17:34]: busy?**

_Clayton [17:35]: For you? Never  
[17:36]: why?_

**Newton [17:36]: Come over?**

The three little dots appeared and disappeared three times before a text actually come through.

_Clayton [17:38]: See you soon_

Casey settled at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee, so deep in her own head thinking of what she was going to do that she didn’t even hear Sam come home.

She startled when Sam dropped his sketch book onto the table.

“Sam! Jesus fuck!”

“What?” Sam frowned at her, “I need to do some homework.”

“You scared me,” Casey huffed, but Sam didn’t care, flicking his pad open to a fresh page.  Casey eyed her brother for a few seconds before speaking. “I broke up with Evan.”

Sam nodded, spinning her pencil around his thumb. “Okay. I liked him but I didn’t think it would last.”

“Why not?”

“Izzie,” Sam answered shortly.

“You knew?”

Sam lifted his eyes from his page, frowning slightly. “Knew?”

“About how I felt about Izzie?”

“Yes, doesn’t everyone?”

“No,” Casey shook her head. “Just mom.”

“And me. And now Evan. Does Izzie know?” Sam asked, looking back at the page. “I feel like she’s the one who need to know most.”

“She is on her way over.”

Sam nodded, but didn’t reply, effectively ending the conversation.

Casey disappeared up stairs not long after, wracking her brain on what to say to Izzie.

sam beat her to the door when it went, and when Casey got to the top of the stairs should could hear Sam talking about his classes.

“That sounds really good, Sam.” Izzie said as Casey reached the landing, Izzie’s eyes finding her immediately, a soft smile pulling on her lips. “Hey, Newton.” She all but whispered.

“Hey,”

“Do you want to feed Edison, Izzie?”

“Uh,”  Izzie glanced from Casey to Sam and back again.

“He doesn’t even let me feed him,” Casey said. “Take that chance while you can.”

“Okay,” Izzie nodded, turning back to Sam and smiling at him.

Sam rushed off upstairs, Izzie on his tail, but Izzie stalled on the landing, standing close to Casey as she eyed her carefully. “Have you been crying?” She asked quietly.

“Talk later?”

Izzie nodded, but she didn’t move, and Casey didn’t want her to. They just stared at each other until Sam reappeared at the top of the stairs.

“Edison knows what’s happening and he is getting impatient.”

“The turtle awaits,” Casey motioned up the stairs.

“Tortoise,” Sam And Izzie corrected, Izzie in almost a whisper.

“You’re okay, right?”

Casey’s lips hooked up into a little smile, and her eyes ran over Izzie’s face. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Izzie nodded, taking off after Sam.

Casey watched from Sam’s bed as Sam quizzed Izzie, looking surprised when she answered one Sam hadn’t even told her.

“I don’t some research when you told me you’d let me feed him,” Izzie shrugged and Sam looked shocked and impressed.

“He likes you, he doesn’t let anyone near that walking rock.” Casey said as they settled on her bed, both with their backs against the headboard.

Izzie laughed, clicking her thumbnails together nervously. “He’s cool.”

They were silent for a long time, listening to Sam babble away to Edison.

“What’s-“

“I broke up with Evan,” Casey blurted out before Izzie could ask.

“Oh,” Izzie frowned, unsure of what to do with that information. “Why? he’s sweet, he’s kind, handsome, he’s-“

“Not you,” Casey cut in again.

Izzie’s frown deepened, and she didn’t look up from her hands. “What changed? A few months ago you didn’t want me.”

“This was never about not wanting you,” Casey breathed. “I just- what my mum did, she hurt so many people, and I thought I loved Evan. I _do_ love him.” Casey swallowed. “But I’m not in love with him.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t think I could take it if you left me for him.”

“I’m sure,” Casey said with an air of confidence, prompting Izzie to look up at her through her eyelashes. “You made me feel things far beyond anything Evan ever had. Evan was nice, and we worked, but you and me? That’s- I dunno, some cosmic shit.”

“Cosmic shit?” Izzie laughed, sounding like she was close to tears. “Didn’t take you for a soulmate kinda girl, Newton.”

“I’m not, or at least I didn’t think I was. But you can’t tell me there wasn’t something there from that day in the quad.”

“I wasn’t disagreeing with you, I was just teasing you.” Izzie gave Casey a crooked little grin, and Casey glared at her before breaking into a little laugh.

They lapsed into another silence, both girls bashfully looking down at their hands.

“I- uh,” Izzie licked her lips unsurely. “I dont know what this means.”

“I mean, if you are seeing Rachel I understand.”

“I never was,” Izzie said. “We kissed, but It wasn’t- cosmic.”

Casey lifted her eyes to Izzie, “Oh,”

“Oh,” Izzie repeated, her eyes flickering down to Casey’s lips. “Can I?”

Casey swallowed thickly, her own eyes straying to Izzie’s lips for a few seconds before she nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed, her voice breaking slightly.

Casey could feel her hands shake as Izzie tentatively reached out to touch her cheek, shuffling forward.

Izzie inched forward, her eyes jumping from Casey’s lips to her eyes and back over and over again, like she was just waiting for Casey to change her mind.

Casey felt a little guilty at that, so she decided to close the gap before Izzie could.

Izzie squeaked in surprise, which made Casey grin a little into the kiss, but they both settled into the kiss, Izzie’s eyes slipping closed, her hand sliding down to Casey’s jaw as Casey’s landed on her thigh.

A breathless little ‘wow’ escaped Izzie’s lips when they parted, their foreheads resting together.

“Yeah,” Casey agreed in a whisper.

“Cosmic,” Izzie was grinning cheekily when Casey opened her eyes, prompting her to shove at Izzie’s shoulder, laughing slightly.

“Fuck off.”

Izzie chuckled softly, looking down at her hands again. “She kissed me, by the way.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“No, I know. I just- I know she might pull the whole alpha female thing, claiming she got first go, or whatever.” Izzie shrugged. “Just know I was thinking about you when she kissed me.”

Casey knew the grin on her lips was overly smug, which made Izzie roll her eyes.  

“God, I can see your head just grow.” Izzie grumbled, sliding down on the bed.

“Can you really blame me?” Casey mirrored Izzie position, both staring at the ceiling.

Casey let her hand fall to her side, her knuckles brushing against the back of Izzie’s, and Izzie’s lips hooked up into a ghost of a smile as she hooked their pinks together, the same way they had in the car that night.

Casey slid their hands together, giving it a little squeeze, her chest fluttering when Izzie squeezed right back.


End file.
